My biggest insecurity is about family. I never had a normal family with warm love as long as I can remember. My parents finally divorced when I was 12, but long before that I deeply knew they were not the right combo & would never make it as happy family. Grew up with clueless & full of anger family, I was abused physically & verbally. I was full of temper, unhappy & finally my mom kicked me out of the house after high school 
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Living alone is very lonely & uneasy for young girls. Some took advantages & treated me like shit but I foolishly let it in return of love & attention I rarely get. I tried many stupid things like other desperate youth did until I finally realize it didn’t solve anything but create even worse damage effect I must endure alone ☠️
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I learned to fix myself, make decision alone, and tried to focus on study, work, and fit myself to society standard of what they called good girl. It did work to fill empty hole inside of me because I feel appreciated & loved. But it never replace the hunger of love. Up until now, I ridiculously hate holidays & days off because I have no work to do and most friends spent quality time with their family 
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If I may share for those who had similar experience, do believe that you are good enough, you are more than what they said to you & you can do amazing things. Find hobby that keeps you alive & creative, work that you really love & passionate about, caring friends, even better you find a thoughtful soulmate, or go somewhere you never been. You never know how life can surprise you & universe brings you to see & meet. Stay positive no matter what. Forgive & let go the past is the only way to release the pain & live happy in the present & embrace good things that may happen soon 
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Anytime, I’d love to share & listen to those who had family issue.
You are not alone ❤️
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#happyfitdiary
#family
#love
#brokenhome